Chloe's Dilemma
by Heartlocker
Summary: All Chloe wants is to stop being such a coward and tell Clark how she really feels, but every time she tries, it seems like she gets pushed further and further away. Will they ever be together?
1. Chapter 1

**CHLOE'S DILEMMA**

**Chapter 1- Coward**

**AN: I'm working on a few other stories right now, but I'm sort of having writer's block on those so I decided I needed a new story to hopefully get me back on track. This is all about Chloe's point of view so hopefulyl you all like it. Please Read and Review**

* * *

You know, some people say that your friends are the best people to fall in love with. But if you think about it, it seems that a friend would be the worst person to fall in love with, that is, if they don't love you back. You see them everyday, you talk to them everyday, they trust you with their secrets, and you comfort one another. These things are what make the friendship so beautiful and so painful all at the same time for the one who's in love. I've felt that pain. I never wish that kind of pain on anyone, even my worst enemy. It's pure torture to see the one you love in love with someone else. In fact, there were times when I felt like he was so stricken with love for someone else that he forgot how I felt about him, or chose to forget. Yes, you've guessed it. My name is Chloe Sullivan and the one I'm so unbelievably in love with is Clark Kent.

Clark has always had that farm boy charm about him that makes everyone around him like him and that smile of his never fails in making me go weak in the knees. But there's something else about Clark Kent that makes me love him. It's the way he can walk into a room and make you feel safe. Clark and I grew up together; we went to high school together. In fact, there was a time when we were a couple. Well, sort of. I think it lasted for less than a 24-hour period, but it was the happiest I had ever been. We decided it would be best if we were friends, mostly because Clark was still in love with Lana, and Lana only. I think I've always been a little bit jealous of Lana, even if we were best friends and practically sisters. I know, I know. What is there to be jealous about? Her parents were dead and she didn't seem like she was very happy during her high school years. But there is one thing she had that I didn't, Clark's love. That was the one thing I wanted more than anything else. So, because I didn't have his heart, I settled for his friendship.

Our friendship was special. I was closer to him than I had ever been with any friend, even Lana. I ended up being a friend that Clark could trust with his secret. To this day, I've never told a soul and I don't intend to. But this isn't about his secret; it's about the journey to find the one for me. It's a tale about love and realizing that sometimes, just like the old saying, true love waits.

Someone once said that love is like war, it's easy to fall into but it's the most difficult thing to get out of. I couldn't agree more with this statement. I wanted for so long to just be friends with Clark and forget the way I felt about him, but I never could forget. I never completely let go of my feelings, which just happened to be the best thing I never did.

I was in my last month of my last semester at MetU. I was still working for the Daily Planet, slowly making my way up the enormous food chain, trying not to get chewed up along the way. I'd recently become a junior reporter. Even though it was step up from the obits, I still wasn't satisfied. I wanted full reporter status and Clark and I were working together to get there. I can't tell you when or why Clark suddenly became interested in journalism again, all I know is that one day he was coming to see me at work and the next he was working with me. I look back on it now and realize that it may have been his fear of having to find a job and find new friends that made him want to work at the Planet. Of course, it helped that he already had me there to put in a good word and the fact that he had prior experience at the Torch. Those articles were probably some of the best that the school newspaper had ever seen, probably even better than mine but I would never admit it to anyone out loud.

Clark and I were partners, we were with each other most of the day, performing all of the nitty gritty tasks that none of the other reporters wanted to write an article on. It gave us time to be with each other and talk, if nothing else. I enjoyed having Clark around me and spending time with him. At least I knew that when he was there, my chance of getting mugged in all those dark alleys that we were constantly sent to gather information in was slim to none. We wrote about sanitation issues, local crimes, county water regulations, and plenty of other boring stuff that was meant to keep us busy throughout the day and out of all the star reporters' hair and stories. Occasionally, we would get a break and find a story that had been overlooked by the reporters. I've always had a knack for stumbling into situations that I shouldn't be in and finding stories that I'm not supposed to find, which works out to be my best and worst enemy in most cases.

Clark and I had been sent out to go after some information on a few city water regulation offenders, which happen to be the worst kind of criminal (please note my sarcasm). That was how they were described to us when we were sent out to interview them anyway. I found it quite amusing. There were murderers and rapists roaming the streets and these offenders were described as such. Clark has always been one to take a job seriously, and this was no exception. After the meeting, we went to the elevator and the doors shut slowly as Clark pushed the lobby button.

"We should probably get some coffee. It sounds like it's going to be a long day," I said. Clark looked as if I had just punched him in the chest, although I know that would've hurt me much more than it would him.

"Chloe, we need to get these interviews. These regulations are set for a reason and people should be following them. If people think they can bend these regulations then who knows what other laws people might decide to bend," he said. And he was serious. I tried to hide my laughter and chuckled lightly, moving a bit closer to him as we walked out of the Planet doors.

"Clark, you're starting to sound like Perry. Lighten up. Trust me, those massive fines are enough punishment for those people and personally, I don't think that breaking water restrictions even compares to murder or robbing a bank," I said.

After a few blocks and a break in the coffee shop, Clark's seriousness had toned down. Like I said, Clark takes things seriously, but he was going overboard about these water restriction violations. He really didn't talk much on the way to the first executive office. Even during the first interview he had let me do most of the talking. On our long trek to the second interview, I felt like it was time for me to step in and try to get him to talk about whatever it was that was bothering him.

"Clark," I began, "is something bothering you? You've barely talked to me all morning."

He looked at me with his amazing blue eyes and I felt like he was looking straight through me, which wasn't much of a stretch considering. But those eyes didn't carry the same energy that they usually did. He actually looked like he was upset or frustrated about something. I had just been too busy to actually notice it that morning.

"Chloe, I um, talked to Jimmy," Clark said.

That's all he had to say. I knew what they had talked about and I knew why he was acting the way he was. Jimmy and I had broken up the week before. I was still upset about it, but I just didn't feel like talking to anyone, especially Clark. I was silent for several seconds trying to think of something to say. I knew what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him why Jimmy and I broke up but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything about it if I wanted our friendship to last. Clark must have been able to tell that I was in deep thought.

"Chloe, you don't have to tell me why if you don't want to. I'm just a little upset that you didn't talk to me. I mean, I thought we could talk about everything. You know that I'm here for you, Chlo," Clark said.

He was making me feel guilty, although I know that's not what he intended. The breakup with Jimmy was not something that I felt like I should discuss with Clark. The real reason I didn't tell him was because of the reason why we had broken up. The only ones that knew that reason were Jimmy and myself, but that was about to change. As I looked into his eyes, full of care and comfort, I made the decision that I was going to tell him.

"Clark, it's not that I didn't want to tell you. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to tell you the reason we broke up," I said. I thought he would catch my drift but the confused look on his face gave me my answer.

"What are you saying?" Clark asked.

"I'm saying that," I began but I decided it could wait until the evening. I really didn't have the courage to say it at that second and we had just arrived at our second interview of the day. "Maybe we should talk about this tonight Clark, after work. It's important but this is definitely not the right place."

He obviously agreed because he didn't put up a fight or try to ask me anymore questions about it the rest of the day. It was the most awkward day that either of us had ever had together. We talked, but it was about news or family back home, not our normal best friend conversations. I was really regretting not telling him about the breakup in the first place. All of that awkwardness could have been avoided if I had just told him about it. But for some reason, I didn't feel right about not telling him the reason Jimmy and I broke up because truthfully, _he_ was the reason. That's right. Clark was the reason. He had been suspicious about my feelings for Clark for quite some time. Jimmy had once asked why I let Clark get away with everything, and why I got so angry at him if he did anything wrong. I blamed it on the fact that it was different with Clark, but Jimmy knew better. Heck, I knew better. Yes, it was different with Clark and it wasn't because of his secret. It was because of how I really felt about him. It was because I loved Clark more than anyone or anything.

That evening, I sat in my apartment working on another article that we had been investigating the past few days. I heard a knock on the door and knew instantly who it was. Letting out a deep breath, I turned the knob and greeted Clark with a smile.

"Hey, Clark. Come in. There's some coffee if you want some," I said as I pointed over towards the coffee maker in the kitchen.

"I'm fine," he replied solemnly. He obviously wanted to get straight down to business, whereas I preferred to dance around it for awhile. Typical Chloe.

"Ok, why don't we sit?" I motioned towards the sofa and closed up my laptop before seating myself next to Clark. I had a strange feeling that Clark already knew what this was about. It was just the way he had been looking at me. You can tell so much about Clark by his eyes. But what he said did not coincide with what I thought his look was telling me.

"Chloe, I'm sorry for getting upset at you earlier. It's none of my business whether you and Jimmy are together," Clark said.

"Don't worry about it Clark," I replied. It was in that moment that I realized how much it bothered Clark that I wasn't the one to tell him that Jimmy and I had broken up, and frankly, that bothered me. It bothered me that he cared so much about it. It bothered me that he wasn't telling me what he really wanted to tell me. It bothered me that he was trying to push this aside like it didn't matter to him, when I knew it did.

"No, I am worried about it. I don't know why I got so upset about the whole thing. It really isn't my business," Clark said.

"But Clark…" I said, but he wouldn't let me finish.

"No, really Chloe. It's ok. I was just being selfish. You don't have to tell me everything that goes on in your life," Clark replied. I'm not sure why I felt so awful about that statement after he said it. But with that statement I knew he was trying to push the situation away. I knew I had to work quickly before he started pushing me away.

"Clark, I…"

I was too late.

"Look, Chloe. I don't want you to talk about it just because you feel bad. If you wanted me to know about it, you would have told me. So, I guess that's all there is to it." He got up to leave and I knew that I had missed my chance to tell him how I really felt. The thing about my Clark feelings (yes, I named them) is that they make me act exactly opposite to my normal personality. In any other situation, I would have told Clark to keep quiet and let me talk, but when it came to my feelings for him, I chickened out and he had just held up the exit sign and yelled "FOLLOW ME." So, I did.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. So, I'll see you tomorrow," I said as I got up and hugged him. I never wanted to let him out of my embrace but I knew that I had to.

"Yeah, I'll see you around," Clark replied as he slowly walked out of the door. I shut it behind him and leaned my head back against it. I had just won the blue ribbon for biggest coward of the century. That was me, Chloe the Coward. Has a nice ring to it I guess.

* * *


	2. Hero

**CHLOE'S DILEMMA**

**Chapter 2- Hero**

**AN: Thanks for the reviews! Hope you all enjoy this next chapter!!! Please read and review**

* * *

I look back on the whole situation now and realize that I had good reason to be afraid of telling him. He had rejected me before and it broke my heart. I didn't know if I could take any more pain or rejection. I didn't know if a heart could shatter any more when it was already in a million pieces. But I did know that if I never told him that I still loved him, I would always regret it.

Clark and I met for coffee the next morning. We were continuing our quest for the water regulation offenders. After all, everyone in Metropolis would be looking forward to this article. Truthfully, I wasn't even thinking about the article when I walked into that coffee shop and saw Clark sitting there, a copy of the Planet in his hands. He was skimming through it like any average person would, but it seemed strange seeing Clark reading that slowly. I was used to him looking at a book and being finished in less than 3 seconds.

"Morning Clark," I said. He had already got me a cup to go and had it sitting across from him.

"Morning Chloe," Clark replied. He was smiling so I assumed he was okay about the conversation we had the night before. I saw his eyes turn toward the door and a smile spread across his face. I turned to see who it was and found a young blonde woman, about my age and height walking through the door. She waved at Clark and walked over to our table.

"Jess, this is Chloe, she's my partner at the Planet," Clark said. He seemed a little too perky about introducing her to me. I just smiled and shook the woman's hand.

"It's nice to meet you," I replied.

"You too Chloe. CK has told me so much about you," Jess said in an even perkier tone than the one Clark had spoken to her in. First of all, I had no idea who this woman was and second of all, I wanted to know why she was calling my Clark CK like she knew him.

"Well, all good things I hope," I said as I eyed Clark and returned my gaze to her with a smile.

"Oh yes, very good things," she said as she looked at Clark. I cleared my throat.

"If you don't mind me asking, how do you know Clark?" I asked. I always did let my curiosity get the best of me. They exchanged a glance and then Clark spoke up.

"Chloe, Jess is my girlfriend. We've been dating for a couple months now," Clark said. If only I had just kept that question to myself. I didn't know if I should be angry or upset or frustrated that he hadn't told me. But then again, I hadn't told him that Jimmy and I had broken up. I think Jess was just as surprised as I was that he hadn't told me yet. I was wishing that I would have ignored that little twinge of curiosity.

"Oh…really," I said as I glanced over at Clark. I was trying my best to not look upset, but I'm sure he knew that I was. I could feel the tears coming to the surface and figured it was best if I left before I had an emotional breakdown in front of everyone in the coffee shop.

"Well, it was nice meeting you Jess," I said with my best fake smile as I grabbed my things and got up to leave. "I have some things I need to take care of, so I guess I'll see you later Clark."

If he didn't realize it before, I'm sure he figured out how upset I was as I rushed out of the coffee shop and made my way straight to the Planet, without him. In that moment, I realized something. The heart really could shatter into more than a million pieces.

I spent the rest of the day hiding out from Clark. I didn't want to see him or talk to him about our little meeting that morning. The only thing I could think about was how much she looked and acted like me. I slowly began to realize that it wasn't Jess I was mad at. It was Clark. I was mad at him for letting me see that look in his eyes the night before and then throwing Jess in my face the next morning. I was mad that he hid it from me, although I had no right to be. More than anything, I was mad that he was with someone other than me, again.

After my day of sulking, it was nice to be alone at the Planet and just think. I thought about the first time Clark had told me that he didn't have feelings for me. I remembered it word for word.

"_Chloe, I wish I felt the same way, but I don't. At least not right now." _

Those last five words are what kept that hope alive in me for so long. But now, that hope was fading as quickly as our friendship was fading. You know the feeling you get when you're at the very top of the drop on a roller coaster, about to fall off the edge? That's how it felt and there was no way for me to stop it.

Clark just happened to walk by my desk as these thoughts were racing through my brain.

"Chloe," Clark said. I was jolted out of my thoughts and brought back to reality by his voice. I looked him in the eyes and I knew what was coming. He was going to apologize and I was going to forgive him.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I shouldn't have sprung Jess on you like that this morning. I guess I really wasn't okay with everything and I'm sorry." That look always got me. It was so pleading and caring. He was truly sorry and I knew it. And just like always, I gave in.

"It's okay, Clark. I just overreacted," I said. He walked over and embraced me in a hug and I hugged him back and kissed him on the cheek as he pulled away. Our eyes met as he stopped inches from my face. For a second, I thought I felt him moving closer to me, but he pulled away.

"I'll see you in the morning Chloe," he said with his usual farm boy charm.

"Yeah, in the morning Clark," I replied. He started to walk away but stopped and turned back towards me about halfway to his desk.

"Chloe?"

"Yeah Clark."

"Jess is no Chloe Sullivan." With that, he turned back around and walked out of the room. I wasn't sure what he had meant. I wondered if he realized how much she looked like me or acted like me. I wondered if that was part of the reason he liked her so much. It gave me the slightest hope that Clark Kent was trying to tell me how he felt with that statement. Was it possible that all the time I was with Jimmy he was using Jess as a replacement? I didn't know if I would ever get an answer to that question, but I knew I had to try.

I gathered my information and purse and made my way to the elevator. I pushed the lobby button and waited very impatiently for the elevator to take me there. I walked out of the elevator and out the doors of the Planet.

After that, everything is a blur. I remember feeling someone grab me and hitting my head. The next thing I remember, I was in a lab strapped to an operating table. It seemed vaguely familiar. I decided to play it safe and be silent when I heard voices around.

"So, is she ready for the extraction?" a man said. I didn't open my eyes to see who it was, but I knew that voice. It was the voice of Lionel Luthor.

"It seems that we have the wrong specimen, sir. This one doesn't have any trace of meteor rocks in her body," the doctor said. I think I was just as stunned as he was at that revelation. All this time, I had thought that I was a meteor freak.

"What do you mean!" Lionel yelled, "I thought we had determined that she did. The previous extraction showed that it was quite clear."

"Sir, I can't explain it. All I know is that she doesn't have any in her body now," the doctor replied.

"So you're saying we knocked her out and brought her here for no reason?" Lionel replied. I couldn't see his face but I could just imagine how furious he was. They must have been walking away as they were speaking because I heard the door shut behind them and there voices grew indistinct. I opened my eyes to look at my surroundings, trying to get out of the straps that were holding me down. Then, I had an idea. I don't know why I had never thought of it before. If Clark had superhearing, then maybe he could hear me if I screamed for him. I wasn't sure if his hearing was that good, but it couldn't hurt to try.

"CLARK! HELP!" I screamed as loud as I could. Nothing happened. I decided to try again.

"CLARK, IT'S CHLOE!!! HELP!!!" I screamed. Within seconds, I felt a burst of wind in the room and saw Clark standing beside me.

"Clark? You heard me?" I said.

"I thought I was crazy the first time you screamed, but then I heard you say that it was you and I knew that I was really hearing you, so I followed the sound back to here," he said as he unstrapped me from the table.

"That's amazing," I replied, completely forgetting that I had just been saved from my kidnapper.

"You're telling me," Clark said as he picked me up in his arms, "Hold on tight."

We took off in superspeed mode and he dropped me off inside my apartment. When we stopped he was full of questions, and so was I.

"Did you see who kidnapped you Chlo?"

"Lionel Luthor was there. They were talking about getting an extraction of the meteor rocks inside my body," I replied.

"Do you think he was behind it the first time?" Clark asked referring to the day that I found out I was a meteor freak.

"He mentioned it so I'm assuming he was. But something strange happened Clark," I said. He looked at me curiously.

"Clark, they couldn't find anything to extract," I replied, just as stunned at this as Clark was.

"So, you mean, you're not…." He didn't finish.

"No, I guess not," I replied. I wasn't sure how to explain it.

"That's great, Chloe," Clark said with a smile.

"Yeah," I replied quietly.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said as he embraced me in a hug. I let myself get swept away in his arms and lean into his chest. He just held me like that for several minutes. I felt all the pain and hurt that had been building up inside of me suddenly surface and I broke down in his arms. His embrace became a little tighter when he felt the first tear against his shoulder. He gently kissed my forehead. I'm sure he had no idea why I was upset, but he was doing the best he could to comfort me.

"Chloe, you're alright. You're safe," he whispered. Once the tears subsided I pulled away, embarrassed at my sudden outburst of emotion.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he searched my eyes for answers. I had to hold myself back from kissing him right then and there, which was not an easy task.

"Yeah, I'll be fine Clark. Thank you for everything," I replied as I hugged him one last time.

"You know I'd do anything for you, right Chloe?" Clark asked.

"Yeah, Clark, I know," I replied as I pulled away and wiped a tear from my eyes.

"I'm never going to let anyone hurt you," he said. Those were the last words that came out of his mouth before he walked out the door. I shut it softly behind him and I remember thinking about those words. The irony in the matter was that he was the one who was hurting me. If only there was a way to protect me from my feelings for him. But it was going to take something a lot stronger than a superhero to do that.

* * *


End file.
